Plant Paradox Phase 1: Quorn (Chick’n)

It was a sad day when I discovered that poultry was making me feel like I had food poisoning. Even the free range, organic roasting chicken that was $12 more expensive than the other one caused debilitating cramps and alllll the gas.

So I stopped eating chicken and turkey, and resorted to eating pork, eggs, steak, and fish for protein at practically every meal. And bacon. Lots of bacon.

I love bacon as much as the next person, but I felt like a gluttonous, wild predator, feasting on the latest kill at every single meal.

When I set out to do the Plant Paradox cleanse, of course the the first non-ground-salad meal of the day called for pastured chicken. Did you know that chickens eat nothing but bugs when left to their own devices? Neither did I.

Excellent. Pastured chicken. Can’t be hard to find. Just look for the “pastured” label.

I looked at every local farm, asked the local butcher, and browsed every grocery store. No pastured chicken. Only “free-range” chickens fed an “all-vegetarian” diet (i.e. corn and beans). Short of raising my own chickens within city limits, I needed to go the vegetarian route and try the suggested chicken substitute: Quorn.

Quorn?

Before now, the extent of my knowledge of Quorn came from the movie Love Actually, and I can’t even remember who mentions it or in what context, but I assumed it was a “British thing” (it is).

But there it was, in the frozen section. Behold: Quorn Naked Chick’n Cutlets. (They leave the E out, so you don’t accidentally think it’s real meatless chicken *eyeroll*)

The first ingredient is Mycoprotein, which I don’t even know what that is, but it’s listed right above a warning that some people have severe allergic reactions to it, because it’s a member of the mold/fungi family.

Praying that I didn’t develop a severe mold/fungi allergy in the past few weeks (these days, it wouldn’t surprise me), I sautéed my Quorn in a skillet with my avocado oil and lemon juice, and chopped it into a salad.

The verdict: I could get used to it. And my meat-loving one-year-old liked it too, so way to go United Kingdom! Thanks for exporting your tea and your vegetarian chicken substitute–our non-pastured chickens are forever in your debt.

Read the Rest

Phase 1, Day 1: Salad for Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner

Phase 1, Day 3: Success!