Plant Paradox Phase 1: Quorn (Chick’n)

June 8, 2017lectinfreemama
Blog post

It was a sad day when I discovered that poultry was making me feel like I had food poisoning. Even the free range, organic roasting chicken that was $12 more expensive than the other one caused debilitating cramps and alllll the gas.

certified-organic-chicken
Stay away from me, delicious drumsticks.

So I stopped eating chicken and turkey, and resorted to eating pork, eggs, steak, and fish for protein at practically every meal. And bacon. Lots of bacon.

I love bacon as much as the next person, but I felt like a gluttonous, wild predator, feasting on the latest kill at every single meal.

When I set out to do the Plant Paradox Program cleanse, of course the the first non-ground-salad meal of the day called for pastured chicken. Did you know that chickens eat nothing but bugs when left to their own devices? Neither did I.

free-range-chicken

Excellent. Pastured chicken. Can’t be hard to find. Just look for the “pastured” label.

I looked at every local farm, asked the local butcher, and browsed every grocery store. No pastured chicken. Only “free-range” chickens fed an “all-vegetarian” diet (i.e. corn and beans). Short of raising my own chickens within city limits, I needed to go the vegetarian route and try the suggested chicken substitute: Quorn.

Quorn?

Before now, the extent of my knowledge of Quorn came from the movie Love Actually, and I can’t even remember who mentions it or in what context, but I assumed it was a “British thing” (it is).

But there it was, in the frozen section. Behold: Quorn Naked Chick’n Cutlets. (They leave the E out, so you don’t accidentally think it’s real meatless chicken *eyeroll*)

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The first ingredient is Mycoprotein, which I don’t even know what that is, but it’s listed right above a warning that some people have severe allergic reactions to it, because it’s a member of the mold/fungi family.

Praying that I didn’t develop a severe mold/fungi allergy in the past few weeks (these days, it wouldn’t surprise me), I sauteed my Quorn in a skillet with my avocado oil and lemon juice, and chopped it into a salad.

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The Quorn is hidden under all the green stuff.

The verdict: I could get used to it. And my meat-loving one-year-old liked it too, so way to go United Kingdom! Thanks for exporting your tea and your vegetarian chicken substitute–our non-pastured chickens are forever in your debt.

chicken

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